Yesterday was a mixed bag. A friend put her dog down and that’s a terrible day for anyone. For the first time in years, I went an entire day without snacking, dessert/alcohol, or making exceptions to my plan.
Food is an immensely personal and emotional experience. Tell people you’re a food addict and giving up flour or sugar and they mention eating “good sugar” or “a taste won’t hurt” and that was eye opening. They’d never say these things if I was an alcoholic or a drug addict. The good news is, I was emotionally prepared for this and knew that it was coming. No, I can’t. Not today. Nope, not even one bite/taste/lick.
This isn’t about being on a diet. This is about not being ruled by cravings and feeling helpless/hopeless to do something about it. I planned to have taco meat today. I LOVE tacos. A lot. Way more than Clay does. My tacos are just going to look a little different than they have in the past. Still cheese, still avocado on it, just portioned out. And just in case I felt like I didn’t get my fix, I planned it for lunch and dinner.
Weighing my food removes the chaos in my food crazy head. How much is too much, too little, will I still be hungry? Maybe I should play it safe and add a little extra, that won’t hurt. Maybe two tacos, just to be safe. God, no. Please. No. I can’t deal with those thoughts any more. Weigh out 4 oz of taco meat? Done. 10 oz of veggies? Salsa counts? Done. 2 oz of avacado? You bet. Simple. No negotiating. No anxiety. No deprivation.
I have been delighted to discover the sheer volume of food. It’s taking me longer to eat meals because there’s so much to chew. Seriously. 10 oz of green beans means you’re going to be sitting there for at least 20 minutes plowing through them… I made a pumpkin spice bread this morning and thought I wouldn’t get through all of it.
That’s the other thing about about this new stuff. I thought I’d have to give up cooking/baking, spending time in the kitchen making meals with Clay. That I wouldn’t get to use my cast iron pans or air fryer. Turns out, air fryers make the best green beans! I’m making my taco meat in my cast iron pan. Healthy food doesn’t have to be cold and flavorless. (That’s food junkie brain talk and food marketing.)
The radical thought I’d like to add: What if you couldn’t find time or energy to clean your house/workout/do your hobbies/prepare your meals/start a business/go back to school because you were exhausted all the time from battling overdosing poisons in your body?