“You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.” – Anne Lamott
There’s some discussion about whether or not it’s necessary to out someone publicly for their deeds – which I won’t get into here. All I can say is “You’re entitled to your free speech. You are not free from the consequences of your speech.”
I’ve struggled with sharing so many facets of my story publicly – in part because it did not reflect well of people who are highlighted in it. The other part is that success started off looking like failures….
- It’s not cool to say that you went into your professional career looking to save your family because your family was a train-wreck in these fundamental areas…
- It’s not ladylike to say that you forced an old boss to fire you because you cared about the job more than they did and that you actually wanted to be there and if they wanted you to leave, they were going to have to force you to leave.
- It’s unsavory to highlight the areas in your life where it appears your employer doesn’t care for your well-being, your financial security, or your career development. Down right poor form to mention that these areas have been gas-lighted or marginalized as “a miscommunication”.
In all of these instances there have been two stories.
I have spent the majority of my life believing with conviction that “Jesus and a stiff drink” were NOT the answer to the problems I faced. I needed communication skills. I needed marketable business skills. I found out years later, I needed better coping skills. Turns out, you can’t just hide in books, eating your freezer full of ice cream and shut off all negative emotions and have a reasonable expectation that your life will improve without course correction.
With the help of counselors, mentors, coaches, and teachers (And the fiercest tribe of amazing friends ever) – I’ve learned to serve others to create positive impact that spreads with depth and breadth, spanning countries and generations, in part so that I could save my family who won’t listen to me; in part so that if you find yourself in the other two scenarios – I can save you the suck on the road to success. Skills to navigate the tough stuff. Skills to communicate the scary stuff. Real solutions for real people.
Let it be true: that whenever someone tells you that they’ve invested so much money/time/effort into you, that you can look them in the face and say “As have I. Much more so than you.”