Never be lipstick.

A couple of years back, I was faced with a dilemma.  I had someone I didn’t know at all, tell me “Your job is to make me look good, make me better at what I do.” Well, that’s a tall order, and I’m the ambitious type, so I thought to myself, how hard can it be? and signed up.

Fast forward 3 years, I was falling further behind in my life.  I wasn’t being mentored, I wasn’t being developed.  I STILL wasn’t able to contribute to my own retirement.  As a matter of fact, I was even further in the hole financially than when I started down this road with the above mentioned individual.

Until they’d said that same speech to my replacement – it never once occurred to me to find those statements as objectionable.  Until I came across someone who said “Why on earth would you take on someone else’s responsibility to make themselves better?  Are you lipstick?” Whoa.

Note to self:  Never be lipstick.  Wear lipstick if you must, but never BE lipstick for slips-2024681_640omeone else.

I learned a valuable lesson that day.  It is not now, nor will it ever be my responsibility to make someone else better at what they do, or help make them look better.  That’s on you.

There was an article floating around (which I can’t currently track down) about the parable about giving a man a fish versus teaching a man to fish; and specifically, the author mentioned (not a direct quote, but the general idea) “My job is fish.  I don’t care what you do with the fish, if you eat the fish, give the fish away, light it on fire, or leave it to rot on the dock.  My job is fish.”

My job is to provide you with the coping and communication skills as well as tools and structure you need to get ahead in your life.  If along the way you want to talk with me about the execution of how you go about doing those things and improving your own situation so you “don’t suck” at whatever it is you’re doing – I can help.  My job comes from my wealth of knowledge gained from the business sector and my work in the coaching community in addition to my own personal years of study and development in the arena of “how do I suck less”.

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